Love = Endings

Image by Brooke Rosenblum Photography

Image by Brooke Rosenblum Photography

Today rings in Valentine’s Day. So I started thinking about the word “love”, and found something very interesting:

If you take the word “Love” and work out its numerology, you get the number 9: L=3+ O= 6+ V=4+ E=5= 18; 1+8= 9.

9 is the number of endings. So love is for endings. Perhaps this sounds grim, but I will explain why it is exactly not-so.

In my mind, there are two definitions to endings:

1) Putting a stop to something, setting a boundary, saying goodbye, or letting someone or something go

2) Releasing inhibitions and surrendering.

Love encompasses both of those definitions, and we will talk about the first one, first.

In terms of emotion, love is the height of bliss. It is the state of purest joy; of gratitude; of giving. It is the state of euphoria; of compassion; of feeling like there is no bottom to your well of overflowing of emotion; no way to quell the pools in your heart that continuously spill over to heal yourself and the world around you one molecule of energy at a time.

But in order to get to that state, you have to end things. Love is the end of people encroaching upon your boundaries. It is the end of second-guessing. It is the end of pretending, and the end of hiding when feeling vulnerable. It is the end of saying no, and the end of not saying no, all at the same time. It is the end of living life in a state of emotional paralysis and excuses.

We have to end what no longer serves us in order to enter this blissful state of love, and in order to fully and unapologetically accept it into our lives.

People think that in ending relationships, we are ending love, when, in reality, we are ending one form of love in order to accept more self-love by doing what is better serving to our highest Self, and, in the long-run, to our ex-partner’s as well.

People think that in beginning relationships, we are beginning love, and that is not untrue- we are- but we are also ending ideas of what love may have been prior. We also have to bear in mind the necessity of sacrificing parts of our lives (certain routines or mindsets or where we used to allocate our time) in order to begin the relationship. We can then also consider what may end throughout the relationship: certain ideals or judgments; pathways or principals; viewpoints or friendships; self-doubt or self-pity; co-dependency or individuality; astringency or growth.

We kill parts of ourselves and our lives off in order to be in relationships. That is just a fact. And sometimes, it’s a disturbing fact, as many times we might choose to give up the greatest parts of ourselves or our lives for partnership. In that, however, it might also be a great fact, as (painful as it may be,) we may then be able to see what we are like without those parts, long for them, and do the work to grow back into those aspects with even more compassion for ourselves, and with loving surrender. 

It may also serve us in that we could easily be put into positions within relationships where, instead of discarding our good qualities, we can begin scraping off the galls that grew on them that never suited us to begin with, and morphing into better versions of ourselves as our partners and partnership pushes us to grow beyond the smallest versions of ourselves and into a more empowered place.

With everything that love brings in, we must shed the old skins of our past selves in order to completely attain it.

Love is the ultimate warrior; the ultimate blade-slinger; the ultimate slasher-film. Because in order to achieve it at its highest vibration, it means bush whacking through all that no longer serves us, and slowly sloughing it away to appreciate life as more aligned versions of ourselves. 

In terms of self-love, people think that in its personal discovery, we (as individuals) are growing, and we are: through casting away the fear that disconnected us from Self to begin with; from the fear of judgment from ourselves and others; from the fear of not being “enough”; from the fear that our own power is, indeed, actually seriously powerful.

Don’t get me wrong- love is always there, in the background, if not in the foreground. It’s not like in order to call love into our lives we need to constantly be in shed. It just doesn’t show up completely and fully and overwhelmingly until we allow ourselves to let go and trust it. 

And in that we find the second definition of endings:

Love is the ultimate champion of our surrender. Love is the ending of rational thought; the ending of the logic that keeps things in “order”; the end of doing what’s “comfortable” so that we may leap into doing what makes our hearts sing. It is consistently there, challenging us to release our limiting beliefs, our fears, and our downfalls in order to become fully open to the idea of being worthy, wanted, powerful, heard, and seen as our truest Selves. 

It is the ultimate vulnerability, and through that, the ultimate strength.

So spread your wings, my dear. Heed the call to end what is holding you back. To release yourself from whatever shackles you or the world have placed on your bruising anklebones. To burn away the ropes on your wrists that are keeping you from embracing yourself and others. To let go of your fears. To surrender, completely, to love.

As love, my friend, is here to set us free.


 About the Author

Rachel Leah Gerson is a Metaphysical Practitioner and Psychic Educator, and the creatrix of Doorway to Self, LLC. A graduate of the University of Michigan in English and Creative Writing and a current master’s student of Clinical Mental Health Counselling at Western Michigan University, Gerson is determined to help people understand the intersection of mental health and psychic abilities, because “If you’re human, you’re psychic”.



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